I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
