She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
