how can u be prego again
I puked a lego.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
