wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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