Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
