I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
