Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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