do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
