apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
