Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
