I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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