Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
