Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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