i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
