you suck at this game today
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit