Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

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(863): View more from Florida

I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

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(305): View more from Florida

best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting

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(630): View more from Illinois

i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(386): View more from Florida

I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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(+44): View more from England

mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.

(+44): View more from England

"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"

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(661): View more from California

Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He? As in you personified your dick?

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