I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills