Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.

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(205): View more from Alabama

i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.

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(623): View more from Arizona

He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(616): View more from Michigan

I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills

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