I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
