Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
