Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
