Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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