just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
