just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
