I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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