I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
is it fun? or sober?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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