Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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