It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
