The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
