If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
