Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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