Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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