i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
