New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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