I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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