My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
