I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
