He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
