we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
