she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize