I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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