I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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