weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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