she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize