Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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