Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
