so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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