Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means