Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I smell stomach acid.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.