And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.