Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night