The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Success! We fucked roommates!