She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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