she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
