Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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