that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just want to make out with him forever
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
