Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
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made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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