Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
