Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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