Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
