About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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