dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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