Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize