The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
