he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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